At the meet at Guiseley the sun had come out but the wind still blew. Riders who had bothered to turn up were, group leaders Woodster and Sportjohn, Milo Milnes, Butchers dog Holdsworth, Strongman Luke and Facebook Terry. Other ‘non Hammsters’ were, Turbot Wild, the Scotsman’s wife Marie? And 2 lads who I have seen before but unfortunately I can’t remember their names (sorry chaps). (Andy and Gary -.ed)

Off set the ’10′’ up through the lanes towards Bramhope……hells teeth….it was a bit of a fast tempo being set by Sportjohn up the first climbs but we were assisted by the tailwind. On past the back of the ‘Chevin’ we were doing 20mph without turning a pedal!!!

It was quite warm now as the bunch sped along through the scenic lanes after Alwoodley with the vistas opening up all around. The trees were still bending double and it was agreed that if every bike ride could be like this, ie, tailwind assisted, life would be a doddle. However, when the group turned into the cross wind it gave them a taste of how strong the wind was as staying upright was difficult! It was noted that some of the ‘dodgy’ pot hole edge sections of the lanes before Bramham had been repaired, although the road surface had deteriorated since we last rode here and there were some dodgy gravely bits.

Conscious of the effort that would be required to get home Woodster called a halt in Bramham to see what people wanted to do. The 2 ‘unknown names’ decided to call it a halt here and head back for home. There were cries to go forth to Taddy but one rider expressed his preference for Wetherby as his legs were feeling the pace. Wetherby was the chosen café stop which, as it turned out, was the better option for the rider with tired legs.

The first taste of the wind came as the group headed back west from Boston Spa to get to the cycle lane by the A/M1 intersection…..deary lord……it was gusting so hard at one point that forward motion was difficult to maintain. Once onto the cycle track it wasn’t much easier as the cross wind on the exposed sections (which was nearly all of it) was proving difficult to ride in, especially when riding at a 45 degree angle! In typical British fashion the cycle route tipped you across the main road onto the ‘wrong’ side of the carriageway, and then ended (you won’t find this in Holland and Germany folks).

The café was reached and…low and behold…..ensconced inside were the ‘Leisure’ group…well some of them anyway. Helen, Peter, Richard, Helena, Graham and new bloke, (sorry fella…I can’t remember your name…yet). Gruppenfuher Herbert was away on family business and the rest were ‘no shows’. Much chit and chat followed and then the leisures left to battle back home. Using their infinite wisdom, Woodster and Sportjohn knew that if the sports lot left it a further 15mins the wind would die down and the return leg wouldn’t be as difficult. So, more chit and chat followed.

Fully refreshed the group headed off in the direction of the lanes and, as predicted by the 2 leaders, the wind had eased quite significantly, although it still wasn’t easy. By now the man who had tired legs before the café stop was feeling the pace but Woodster dropped back to ride with him and the group eased off and waited so that he they could rejoin. The leisures, minus Richard and Helena, were caught by the ‘Leeds-Harewood rd’ as they were waiting for the said 2, but they were unsure as to whether they were ahead or behind! Obviously the group were missing the guidance of Gfr Herbert! Once onto the long flat haul into the wind from Castley to Otley the group eased away and Woodster escorted the man with tired legs back to Harry Ramalangadingdongs roundabout where the 2 went their separate ways.

Back at Guiseley, the sporties were having more chit chat and it was a unanimous vote that the run had been a cracking ‘character building’ exercise and had been good fun.

We look forward to the next one folks.

Hammsters at Gargrave

No. Riders: 15
Route: http://www.mapmyride.com/routes/view/63477482

First off, if you were the fella on the mountain bike this morning, apologies! It seems everyone thought you were with someone else and as a result no-one had a proper chat, or kept an eye out for you. Get in touch and we’ll make up for it!

Apart from losing a rider early on(!) it was a lovely ride out to Gargrave. The lumps around Cononley were a good new year test, as was 15 riders descending on the café at once. Glad to say everyone passed with flying colours.

After a short break, onwards and upwards, with a return route via the duck pond at Cracoe, and then onto Bolton Abbey. The usual back roads home and a headwind to finish off those who weren’t already finished off by a good 50 miler in January.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 1,500 times in 2011. If it were a cable car, it would take about 25 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

I got a flat

Imagine, if you will, a blockbuster Hollywood thriller entitled “Hammsters 4: Hamming It Up” (in cinemas for Christmas!).  The camera pans through the driving, wintry rain and slate-grey gloom to focus upon a distant cloud of spray.  As the cloud approaches the soundtrack of dripping, swishing water gradually incorporates a tension-building repetitive beat (think Jaws!).  Visually, the spray cloud gradually forms into a motley bunch of rain-soaked cyclists, but the camera continues to zoom, eventually focusing on a single rear rim.  As the music rises in both volume and rhythmic speed, it becomes clear to even the least experienced viewer that all is not well.  A pulsating swelling can be seen, almost like an artificial heartbeat, as the rim struggles to retain its clinched latex.  The music grows louder and ever more insistent and tension soars, the pulsing accelerates, the rim begins to swell, the soundtrack reaches a crescendo, the viewer cannot stand the pressure anymore…………………………………

However, before anything worse happens to his piles, Rock Star’s rear tyre bursts spectacularly in Cross Hills and all the tension is lost!

The peloton draws to a rapid halt and congregates around a North Yorkshire bus shelter to watch RS do his stuff with his short stroke pump (he’s now over 50 of course, so what can you expect?!).

Progress is not rapid, and alarm bells ring as air appears to escape from the tyre itself as RS continues to pump vigorously.  It’s cold and wet, and the EBO (see last week) Marauders (EBOM) contingent move on, while RS makes a plaintive phone call home for assistance (“it could happen to anyone dear…”) and then consults the bus timetable (bad sign).

The remaining Hammsters (BW, FSC and Domestique Bliss Duo (DBD)) discuss what to do.  After initially trying to head straight home, the B part of DBD agrees to go on to Skipton on the grounds that it’s “flat all the way”!  Waving a forlorn RS farewell (this is the tear-jerky part of the film – not a dry eye in the house!) while he tries to offer his rear wheel in exchange for a bus fare, he is advised to semi-inflate and ride the 300 yards or so back into West Yorkshire – the fares are cheaper!!

It’s Yuletide market day so Skipton is packed, but the five remaining remnants find an ace cafe with seats and radiators and special spicy beans on toast for very reasonable prices!  It’s going to be a wind-assisted ride back for the second week running!

Mellowed by the warmth (and probably the fine company!), B is tempted to try a “scenic loop” back, via Embsay, Draughton and Silsden.  The group shatters on the first climb to Draughton, with FSC fighting it out until FSC (minus S) discovers he’s still on his big ring (the subject of a new film, “Hammsters 5: the Next Revolution”) and fades dramatically.  B has to push D up the next climb to the riding school, but then it’s “all downhill” (to quote a well-known Hammster movie line) from there.

Just passing Steeton Station trainee Hammster “Hammster Hamer” (HH) is spotted in civilian clothing escorting his good lady wife towards the platform – an inquiry as to why he is not clad in lycra astride a worthy machine will be held by Oberleutnant Herbert in the New Year!

On the final stretch it rains….and rains….and rains.

Roll on January!!

Lovely December Weather

No Riders: 9,13 and then 5
Route: http://www.mapmyride.com/routes/view/59946122

Another lovely sunny day for a bike ride as the picture shows.

The first downpour of the day occurred at about 8:40am, so if you were on the road to Saltaire, you were soaked before we even started. But the plucky Hammsters are not put off by a bit of rain, and er, sleet, so off we set, tucked in behind Woody for shelter.

So balmy was the weather, that Linda was waiting for us at Bingley, for what must be only her second ride of the year – good day to choose. Luckily, as we got through Bingley a bunch of Milnsey’s Marauders were just turning pedals, so Woody at last had the chance to tuck in behind some other riders.

Last of the group was JD, who had come looking for us up the Riddlesden Road – anything to keep moving today. And we needed all our arm flapping, leg hopping, skills just a few minutes later as Woody’s (“it’s been a great) tyre (this one”) gave up the ghost after years of service, blowing the tube through the side wall. Fortunately we were not far from a bus shelter, which gave him somewhere to try to fix it out of the rain. Such is the hardiness of the Hammsters, that most stood outside, taking the extra beating the weather was doling out. Once it was pointed out that we could be inside the shelter, we realised this was not hardiness, just plain stupidity.

Half the group had already made the decision to keep riding, the other half waited to see the outcome of the cursing over the tyre and when it was realised that the emergency vehicle was Woody’s only option the remaining 5, with the honour of Hammsters everywhere at stake, headed off to Skipton and a café stop.

Home made baked beans, carrot cake, omelette (yup Linda’s back), and liberal use of the radiators, restored some health to the group to the extent that a ‘lumpy’ route home was chosen. This took in Draughton, and the aptly named ‘Height Lane’, that eventually dropped us into Silsden.

Tail wind all the way home from there. Geof lifted the pace in the last few miles, just to keep the blood circulating, and that was that.

The weather did its best – dry and bright but with a howling gale buffeting in from the west (that’s almost a poem!)

Sports and Leisure riders (plus some additional riders from Bradford University)  intermingled freely and wantonly (disgraceful!) and the general  consensus was to head west, into the wind, and meet up later somewhere near  Bolton Abbey. While Oberleutnant Herbert delivered his customary Sunday  morning sermon to the Leisure Group, the Sports Group tottered off with a  warning that anyone caught slacking would be dropped!

Down through Menston and through Burley, the group began to stretch out along the route, with everyone unsure as to how well new faces would ride. Without knowing names (still don’t – identify yourself as this goes on!) it became a matter of recognising jerseys, bikes and recognisable squeaks from machinery and foibles with equipment. The wind was gusty and intense, and the fragmentation meant that when gaps appeared they very quickly extended. Mr Marmite (MM) lost his cap and there was a short pause to retrieve that.

A quick re-group at the bridge in Ben Rhydding got us out of the traffic and on to the back road towards Bolton Abbey. It was still spread out as we continued to battle the wind, and then things got even more complicated as we all got caught up with Otley Cycling Club. It became essential that we reached the cafe before them in case the teacakes ran out! The trouble was we weren’t quite sure which cafe we were heading for (does this sound familiar to veteran Hammsters?!).

Gathering at Forge Cafe in Bolton Abbey it was clear that after only 12 miles many were keen to go a bit further, and Experienced Blue Runner (EBR) suggested Grassington Cafe. Experienced Bikeshop Owner (EBO) and his new lightweight and very white “winter” bike ducked out and Rock Star (RS) suggested continuing to Cavendish pavilion, after which those who wished to could go on to put a loop in round Burnsall and Grassington. EBR and Ex-Cat 1 set off in formation and the “Loop Group” proceeded past the Valley of Desolation, which was bathed in sunlight. All was upset when Blog Writer (BW), in an attempt to take on a bit of the (still incredibly strong) headwind, triggered a series of surges and semi-attacks which split the group to pieces. We paused to re-group and EBR rightly bollocked us for not riding like cyclists. Suitably chastened, we set off again and, within 250m, were spread out all over the place again! No worries….plenty of time till June!

Selfishly, the owners of the cafe in Burnsall were on holiday, so after yet another re-group by the village green it was onwards and upwards to Grassington. Retro woolly cycling top (RWCT) struggled to adapt to his non-SPD cleats as we left the village. Again, the combination of headwind and hill spread us all out, but we eventually dragged ourselves into Grassington and headed for the Retreat Cafe (aptly named!).

One table-full (EBR, Ex-Cat 1 and father and son combo (FSC)) had mega portions of beans on toast (as if it wasn’t windy enough already!) whilst the other tables occupants were treated to Uni Coach’s (UC’s) chips which he had with his extravagant panini. Then out into the sunshine again for a brisk ride home. UniHammRider (UHR) broke a reflector (!) on his front wheel before we’d even set off, but we were soon whizzing towards Appletreewick and fragmenting all over the place once again, with FSC (minus F) and Young Uni Not Going to Hamm (YUNGTH) whizzing up the inclines.

Over the back road towards Bolton Abbey it was agreed to chip in to buy UHR a proper pair of cycling shorts as he was revealing cleavage that you could have parked a bike in! Across the river at Cavendish Pavilion and then back towards Ilkley. Waiting at the turn-off, we realised why YUNGTH had been in such a hurry earlier as he scaled a drystone wall to attempt to gain some sort of privacy for the world’s longest p*ss-stop! EBR mentioned that nowadays he just gets his todger out after slipping and falling off a wall in such circumstances years before! It had to happen – while this was going on UHR came in to stop and couldn’t get out of his clips, and tilted gently onto the grass verge!

There was rapid progress on the narrow lane, until after the climb to Nesfield EBR, FSC (minus F) and BW were at the head of the “peleton” (talking derrieres again, EBR’s kind offer to place a helping hand on Ex-Cat 1’s ar*e to help “push him up the hill” was firmly rejected!). At the next sharp left-hander we nearly hit an on-coming Sunday driver (his brakes worked really well!) and EBR took the opportunity to put the boot in and make a break. BW bridged the gap followed by young FSC (minus F) and it was eyeballs out through the puddles past Ilkley Golf Club. Sneaky EBR eased up only to then sprint for the Ilkley sign, a race that neither BW nor FSC (minus F) knew we were in!

The “new boys” made a bit for glory on the back road to the bridge at Ben Rhydding, whilst the others took advantage of the FSC “Windbreak” and trickled along nice and easy! EBR and FSC (minus F) couldn’t resist blasting off again towards Burley, whilst FSC (minus S) and BW enjoyed the scenic route whilst following a young lass riding along at a fair old clip (YLRAAAFOC) in the same direction!

A final gathering in Burley and then it was time for the final ascent to Guiseley. Young bucks once again shot off ahead but older heads kept a steady tempo which saw them catch the breakaway by Harry Ramsden’s.

The remnants of the peleton arrived back at the start point at irregular intervals, with UHR discovering a front wheel puncture just as he finished (he was lucky – he’d done the entire ride without a spare tube!). No other Hammsters in sight! We’d done 45 miles or so, OK for starters.

A good crack and lots to work on!! Will UHR get some shorts and some tubes? Will he know which ones to put where? Will RWCT ever get used to his cleats? Will “Noah” EBR ever get us riding two by two? Will the wind ever drop (or will people keep eating beans)?! Will FSC (minus F) continue to out-brake on-coming vehicles? Will FSC (minus S) ever see FSC (minus F) except at cafe stops? Will we ever know what sign we’re racing to? Will we ever see the other Hammsters again?

Tune in for future bulletins!!

Hamm 2012 Begins

Hamm 2012 suddenly became very real for a bunch of cyclists this morning.

20+ riders gathered at Guiseley to tackle the ride to Bolton Abbey and back on the first training ride that will eventually lead them to Hamm, Germany in 2012.

Bikes, muscles, bottoms and will power, were all put through their paces as we headed into a gusty, gale force, headwind to tackle a route with ‘no serious hills’ as Mike put it. It’s worth noting, if you’re not from round here, that phrases such as ‘It’s all downhill from here’, ‘There are just a few small lumps’, and ‘It’s all flat out that way’, are simple, straight forward, lies. The comforting thing is that once you make it onto the continent, then time spent on these little lumps really pays off.

The ‘sports’ group decided to put on an extra loop out to Grassington, while the ‘leisure’ group were happy to settle for the Cavendish Pavilion. Tea, scones, beans, etc and it was tail wind home, with only the slight inconvenience of a slipped chain and some of those flat hills.

Lovely day out, lovely people, what an adventure.

i appear to have given the wrong date for the ride, it is actually on the 27th of Nov. not the 20th as I posted. sorry for any misunderstandings.
As Del Boy would say `What a Plonker`
see you then.
regards
geoff.e

The Evidence

Under interrogation Dave D admitted to keeping his new steed in his warm dry kitchen to keep it dry safe and brightly polished. It was suggested he cover it with large towel so that no cooking condensation could mar its shinning surface.

Pleasantries over the three of us JD, Luke and myself set off, in near arctic conditions
(well my feet were frozen), at an nice `sedate pace` whilst Dave D returned home to his warm kitchen to re-polish his flying machine in case any dirt had dared to land on its pristine surface.

Ambling along at our `sedate pace` we passed a large group cycling in the same direction along the riverside, JD remarked that “we should get to the café before that lot” so heads down off we went at a steadier `sedate pace`. Four miles out of Knaresborough we passed a lone biker who decided to hitch a lift but JD was having none of it and quickly `upped` the pace. Half a mile later and rather sweaty, the lone rider was nowhere in sight so we settled back down to our `sedate pace`.

Knaresborough at last, time for a café stop, but what’s this, the large group passed miles earlier were sat in the warm café munching their way through teacakes etc, so to prove how hardy we Hammsters are we sat outside in the cold with our tea and butties, where we promoted a passing cyclist in to the Hammsters ranks to take a picture as evidence of our great achievement (i.e. actually going where we said we were going.), however we quickly had to remove his name from the Hammsters roll call as he then demanded a fee for his services.

Café stop over off we went once again at our `sedate pace. The return to Guisley was
a fairly uneventful affair, if you discount JD’s close encounter with an on coming Range Rover, who had come over to our side of the road to avoid a small child cycling on his side.

All in all a good spin out in the chilly autumn sunshine

The new Hammsters are having their first ride together on Sunday 20th November,
setting off from Guisley station, time to be confirmed, if any old boys and girls would like to join us and pass on any pearls of wisdom you will be welcome.

See you soon
geoff.e
ps looking at the photo he deserved to be throwm from the ranks,anyway we couldn’t afford him

Once again, deviating from the planned route to Gargrave, we took in the 40 miles or so to Embsay and back. The middle part of this route is lovely, but the traffic to and from the back lanes was a bit heavy, yet all worth it for that scenic middle bit.

A stop near Bolton Abbey probably wasn’t necessary, but why not? Tea, tea-cakes, and coffee on a Sunday morning – yum.

Back lanes between Bolton Abbey and Ilkley were full of cyclists, many of them women, which is great to see. Maybe this has something to do with the huge success of the newly formed Ilkley cycling club.

A few Hammsters were heard to grumble that the searing heat and sunshine of the previous day had ‘typically’ disappeared just in time for our monthly ride, and yes there was a spot of rain, but, it was really pretty good cycling conditions for October. Lets hope for the same in November. See you then!